Stress

So I am stressed out recently, in the way that you demonstrate by pretending nothing is wrong and distracting yourself, rather than acknowledge your brain is making you crazy. I'm home with my mom for a while, which is nifty, and I'm in the process of moving from one apartment to another. They're only about a mile apart, and the new one is a little more expensive, but it means I don't have to live with my ex anymore, which is good because that was stressing me out more than anything else in the universe. So I guess I should be happy that my #1 stressor is not going to be an issue anymore.

Except:
I'm stressed about having to rent a UHaul or take a chance with my dad's crazy old pickup truck.
I'm stressed because I don't want my mom to see what a disaster the old apartment is.
I'm stressed because the lock on the new apartment doesn't open unless you click your heels and say "Open sesame" and jiggle the lock to the left for 8 hours, and I don't want to deal with that tomorrow.
I'm stressed because my old roommates can't afford rent without a 4th roommate, and I feel bad putting them in that position, even though it's necessary for my sanity.
I'm stressed because I don't know what's going to happen between me and my ex now.
I'm stressed because I don't want my new roommate to know I'm a nutjob.
I'm stressed because I'm on academic suspension and have to talk to the dean of my college and go through the whole admissions process again.
I'm stressed because I'm worried about finding a job.
I'm stressed because I'm already starting to forget what things looked like in the house I grew up in.
I'm stressed because I'm scared I'm going to screw up all my plans for myself.
I'm stressed because I'm worried that I don't deserve anything good anyway.
And mostly I'm stressed because my depression makes me stressed, and I really should do something about that sometime. Hmm.


Having said all that, my rottie mix is curled up in an armchair, passed out, and my hound mix is stretched out across the couch, completely covered by a blanket I put on him an hour ago. Only his nose and his front paws are sticking out. So there may be hope for the world, yet.


Moral of the story: Life is stressful, but as long as you have this, things will seem managable.