Thursday Thirteen - Non-Resolutions That I Want To Accomplish In 2009

1. Get crappy entry-level job doing whatever for the next few months.
2. Get a job as a summer camp counselor, double plus bonus points if it involves teaching horseback riding.
3. Get readmitted to school and the social work program for next fall.
4. Write my book, preferrably in the next 4 months.
5. Volunteer at the local women's shelter.
6. Volunteer at the local humane society.
7. Take 12 or 15 credits in the fall and get a B or better in all classes.
8. Become a feline foster parent for the humane society.
9. Get a less crappy job for the school year.
10. Get back into therapy.
11. Work on positive behavioral goals for myself, such as "I will communicate my feelings" and "I will deal with uncertainty in a healthy way".
12. Be a better friend and spend more time with people I care about.
13. Try to combine all of these things into the feeling that I am a functioning person who matters.

8 Things I Have Noticed Lately

1. Blogging is hard to do when you don't have access to a functioning computer.

2. Spending hours drooling over the NaNoWriMo website will not actually get a book written.

3. I have the communication skills of something that doesn't communicate.

4. Plans only matter if you actually go through with them.

5. Just because you used to be something doesn't mean you still are. This can be a positive, negative, or neutral occurence.

6. My mom somehow never gets less awesome. I'm not really sure how she does it. Magic may be involved.

7. Change can be terrifying, necessary, and good all at the same time. Example A: Barack Obama is aparently terrifying to some people, but his election is necessary and a good thing. Example B is more personal and will be commented upon once it has actually taken place. I'm terrified. But in a good, necessary sort of way!

8. Following up #3 and #4... it really only just occurred to me that my vision of the future might not actually be what someone else's vision of the future is. In the sense of futures being intertwined. Which is weird and scary because I always sort of assumed that things would fall into place and work out. But what if they don't unless you make them? How am I supposed to know when the right time is? What if I never feel "ready"? What if I get shot down even if I am ready? What if it just doesn't matter, and nothing goes the way I hope it will? Ugh. Point being, I overthink everything and don't communicate well or even at all sometimes and I need to freaking stop it because I'm screwing everything up. And it scares me.



"As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." - The Wizard, The Wizard of Oz

5 things to check out if you're bored.

1. Astro.com. It lets you put in the exact time of your birth, and gives you a very detailed horoscope every day. It tends to be accurate enough to freak me out if I'm having a weird day.

2. Any music by Ani Difranco, especially Dilate, since that's what I'm listening to right now.

3. Orisinal.com. Cutest. Games. Ever. The graphics are little-kid-nursery adorable and the different challenges are loads of fun for the easily distracted.

4. The Birls community on LiveJournal. "Birls" stands for "boyish girls" and the LJ group is one of the most active online GLBT forums I've ever found. There are Facebook and MySpace groups as well, but nothing beats the original. If you are butch, FTM, transgendered, tomboyish, genderqueer, androgynous, or an admirer of such persons, you have to check it out. A-mazing.

5. Scrubs episodes on YouTube. Oh, you know it's the best show ever. Ever! There's a lot of episodes up, starting with the very first episode here. It's probably the only show that never fails to make me laugh out loud no matter what. Love.


Okay. Now you have an activity, some music, some games, some eye candy, and a badass tv show. Boredom be gone!



(I should get some sleep...)